Their suggestions were to shock or take revenge or attack their parents. I didn’t expect them to ever come to an altar with me. Both married—and divorced—women from their own socioeconomic circles.
One was an “if we’re both single by the time we’re 40” proposal from my best friend when we were in high school. It was a mutual decision in our 30s that we were too much like siblings to ever dream of marriage.
The last time I seriously considered saying yes, but our lives were going in different directions and I didn’t think either of us should leave our chosen path for marriage.
If I had grown up with the fantasy of a wedding or marriage, I might have said yes to one of them. But marriage was never a goal or a dream for me — that’s probably because of my autism — and I knew I never wanted children.
I have been perfectly happy to remain single. None of the romantic relationships ended in outright hostility, but I have never really heard what the men thought about me turning down their proposals.
They never gave any information and I never asked. It was like rubbing salt in the wound to question them about their feelings after they said no.
Reddit user TheBamtotheFoozle asked:
“Guys Who Were Told to Say ‘No’ to a Failed Marriage Proposal, What Happened Next?”
Too early
“My mother’s boyfriend proposed to her after we had been dating for three months.”
“She was 40, had already been through a disastrous marriage and subsequent divorce, and felt it was too early to talk about marriage.”
“He accepted her ‘No,’ but said he wouldn’t ask again, and he never did. They’ve been together for over 25 years now and never got married.”
~ ColdFIREBaker
Too cool for school
“My 7th grade teacher brought his girlfriend to school to propose in front of the whole class, but she said no.”
“It was a topic of conversation almost every day that year.”
“It’s no surprise that he moved to another school at the end of the year.”
~ No_Witness_1234
On the Jumbotron
“Not my story, but it was told to me by our jeweler when we bought our wedding rings…”
So a man comes in to buy an engagement ring. The jeweler sits down with him to talk about design, cost, and whatnot.”
“Our jeweler always asks people how they are going to propose. She loves sharing in the excitement.”
“This guy is bragging about how he’s going to propose to his girlfriend at a baseball game. On the big screen in front of the entire stadium while his favorite team is playing.”
“As the man speaks, our jeweler notes that everything revolves around him. From the ring to the proposal. There is no mention of what his girlfriend likes.”
“Our jeweler doesn’t have a good feeling about it, but sells him the ring anyway.”
“Not long after, the man returns with the ring. The girlfriend said no, which didn’t really surprise the jeweler.”
~ Loud_Account_3469
Marry her father instead
“There was a foreign student at the university who I had only called a few times and had never met. On Christmas morning of my first year, he called my father.”
“He asked my dad for my hand. They talked for hours and my stupid dad said yes!”
“He was so far removed from my life that he assumed that guy was my boyfriend. My father thought I would be happy, that idiot.”
I was furious, but my grandmother and mother laughed so hard they nearly wet their pants, and that made me feel better.”
“My grandmother said she hoped she could embroider my wedding sari. My father remained clueless.”
“I think he told my dad he was filthy rich, which was true. He was a spoiled brat.”
~ Anita Ivana Martini
Here is Al with the weather…
“This happened live on The Today Show many years ago during the part where the presenters/hosts chatted with people outside on the square.”
“Guy proposed, girl said no. If I remember correctly, she said they had only been dating for two weeks.”
“It was incredibly awkward for poor Al Roker.”
~ BSB8728
Let’s wait a moment
“She said to me, ‘No, but wait a minute and ask again and I think it will be yes.’”
“I did. We’re still married.”
~ ProfessorLake
Bypass blocked
“My mother gave her permission for me to marry an ex of mine, whose proposal I had rejected and I considered getting a restraining order.”
“After I told him I was afraid of him and that he had to stay away or I would call the police and go to court. He went to my mother’s house and had a long talk with her about how much he loved me and that we were meant to be together.”
“My mother gave him her blessing…also an idiot.”
~ camichus
She said yes, but…
“I was in a relationship with a guy who was in a band that had a bit of a cult following. The same people would see each other over and over again in the audience at different shows.”
“They agreed that no one would ever propose on stage again, after a man proposed on stage and she said yes.”
“But everyone could see it was a ‘no.’ He appeared on a show a few months later as a single.”
“They said it would ruin the atmosphere of the show.”
~ Sure_Boom_5042
“Oh God, I’m a scene kid and I’ve been around bands for 20 years. I’ve made it clear that I NEVER want to be pulled up on stage at a show and asked to marry me.”
“Everyone I saw was uncomfortable. There was one who was really bad at a Bouncing Souls show: the girl said yes, but she looked so unhappy and terrified.”
“I remember hearing a couple of guys say why they asked a girl to marry them on stage was because ‘she HAD to say yes!’”
“And that is so manipulative and controlling that it makes me sick. Don’t do this.”
~ those_ribbon_things
…She wanted to say “no”
“I can tell you what happens if you ask her to marry you, but she doesn’t feel it. She says yes anyway because of social pressure.”
“A very awkward, sad time until you finally had the talk you should have had before you asked her to marry you.”
~ therealjohnsmith
“Bah, facts.”
“My ex proposed to me on Christmas Day, in front of his entire family. It was a two-hour drive from my house and there was no way I could get away.”
“I was only 18.”
~ ThrowRAsleeplessmama
Open Ca Denial! 🪄
“I was on vacation in Las Vegas in 2006. We saw one show a day during the trip. The day after Christmas we saw a magic show.”
“About halfway through the performance, the magician had a young woman from the audience come up to help with a trick. He did the usual meet and greet with her – she was on vacation with her boyfriend’s family and blah, blah, blah.”
“The magician does his thing and then suddenly the friend appears from a box that was deceptively empty a second ago. The friend gets down on one knee, the ring comes out and he begins with his declarations of love and affection, reciting the last few years.”
“It was a sweet proposal.”
“She laughs and puts her hands over her face and says… nothing at all. All of us in the audience are silent and waiting to cheer and applaud, but waiting for her to say yes.”
“It seemed like an eternity, but then the magician burst into applause. He quickly led the happy couple off the stage and announced, ‘She said yes!’.”
“So we were all cheering for the happy couple. What else would he do?”
“They had great seats at a table right in the middle of the stage and right up front where we could see the ‘happy couple’ and their family.”
“When they came back, the poor girl was sitting alone and the guy was sitting with his parents on the other side. I don’t think they said anything else for the rest of the show.”
~ eltguy
Bottom up 🍹
“I was at the restaurant when a failed proposal happened. Somehow the guy was able to involve the families in this fancy dinner without the girl knowing what was going to happen.”
“He orders their drinks, where he had the ring cleaned and then placed in the bottom of her pina colada drink. She gets up and goes to the bathroom and then a few family members approach with their cameras/phones, ready for the proposal.”
“She comes back and the drinks are brought. She refuses the drink, much to his dismay. But she doesn’t get the hint. She DON’T WANT IT.”
“‘You have to have your drink, it’s really good’. She says NO again. This goes on and on, back and forth. Finally she says no and is disturbed by his pushy behavior.”
“I hear this from my table: ‘I can’t marry someone who doesn’t respect my boundaries.’ She gets up and walks out of the restaurant. The man is sitting there waiting for her to ‘cool down.'”
“She doesn’t come back. So he fishes out the ring and has the drinks taken away. She comes back towards the end and he shows her the ring and tells her it was in the drink.”
“And she hits him and says no. This time she gets mad and leaves. Everyone packs their things and goes to pay.”
“He just sits there by himself. I wanted to get up and say something, but my date was ready to go home.”
~ I am Plant Head
Yes, No, Yes
“I said yes, but the next day I gave the ring back because I got cold feet. Then I realized I was wrong to give it back and luckily he gave it back to me a week later.”
“This was 43 years ago and we are still alive and kicking.”
~ Internal-Yoghurt-895
Let’s wait a little longer
“I asked her to marry me when she was 22. She said no.”
“We remained friends as life took us on different paths. About twenty-five years later, we were married.”
“I think we both had to grow a little bit. Our experiences independently gave us time to be more grounded in our expectations for a committed relationship.”
~ electric lock
Delayed reaction
“There was a girls camp that I went to for a few years as a kid. Every year on the last morning the campers would have a hike that started at 2am and we would be up on the mountain for the sunrise.”
“Once a counselor’s friend came over at sunrise and proposed to all of us 12/13 year old girls. She said yes, we were all happy.”
“The next year, the same counselor was there. It was unusual for counselors to be married, so I asked another one if she was married.”
“She told me she called off the engagement later the day he proposed. She just didn’t want to embarrass the guy in front of a bunch of pre-teens.”
~ Timely_Cheesecake_97
What do you say?
“Ten seconds later I realized she had actually said, ‘You know I will,’ and she’s just really quiet when she talks.”
~ Stratafyre
Have you ever experienced a proposal being rejected?